{"product_id":"the-american-withdrawal-tee-tactical-irish-goodbye-edition","title":"The American Withdrawal Tee — Tactical Irish Goodbye Edition","description":"Some people leave a party.\u003cbr\u003e\nSome people say goodbye, hug everybody, promise to text, stand in the doorway for another 20 minutes, and somehow start an entirely new conversation.\u003cbr\u003e\nYou do not.\u003cbr\u003e\nYou conduct an AMERICAN WITHDRAWAL.\u003cbr\u003e\nWas there an exit?\u003cbr\u003e\nAllegedly.\u003cbr\u003e\nWhen did it happen?\u003cbr\u003e\nThat timeline remains disputed.\u003cbr\u003e\nWere you invited in the first place?\u003cbr\u003e\nIrrelevant.\u003cbr\u003e\nDid you have a beer in your hand during extraction?\u003cbr\u003e\nOperational details are classified.\u003cbr\u003e\nThe American Withdrawal Tee from The Brewz celebrates the time-honored art of disappearing from a party while leaving absolutely everyone else to reconstruct the events afterward.\u003cbr\u003e\nFeaturing a full-scale patriotic extraction scene with fighter jets, bald eagle air support, tactical gear, cold brews, a loyal dog, one extremely casual back-door departure, and the official doctrine:\u003cbr\u003e\n“Constantly change the narrative as to if, how, and when I exited. Nonetheless I came; however why, how, or if I was invited a moot point.”\u003cbr\u003e\nPerfect for anyone whose departure strategy is:\u003cbr\u003e\nGOOD FRIENDS ✓\u003cbr\u003e\nCOLD BREWS ✓\u003cbr\u003e\nGREAT TIMES ✓\u003cbr\u003e\nTACTICAL WITHDRAWAL ✓\u003cbr\u003e\nThis is not sneaking out.\u003cbr\u003e\nThis is not leaving early.\u003cbr\u003e\nThis is not even technically admitting that you left.\u003cbr\u003e\nIt is a strategic redeployment from the social theater of operations.\u003cbr\u003e\nThe Brewz\u003cbr\u003e\nSame Legend. Different Exit.\u003cbr\u003e\nNo formal goodbye was issued. No timeline has been confirmed. Mission status remains: probably accomplished.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• 100% ring-spun cotton, sourced maybe from CHHHINAA (it's not)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Sport Grey is 90% ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e\n• Dark Heather \u0026amp; Heather colors are 65% polyester, 35% cotton\u003cbr\u003e\n• Graphite Heather is 50% polyester, 50% cotton\u003cbr\u003e\n• 4.5 oz\/yd² (153 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e\n• Quarter-turned to avoid crease down the center\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank product sourced from Bangladesh, Nicaragua, Honduras, Dominican Republic, Haiti or Guatemala\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nDisclaimer: Due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!","brand":"The Brewz","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":48298029875252,"sku":"8343355_474","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":48298029908020,"sku":"8343355_505","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":48298029940788,"sku":"8343355_536","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":48298029973556,"sku":"8343355_567","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":48298030006324,"sku":"8343355_598","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":48298030039092,"sku":"8343355_629","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 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